Funniest Quotes from M*A*S*H

Colonel Potter: 'I'm responsible for thousands of lives. I'm the only one who knows what's going on around here.'

Hawkeye: 'I'm a doctor, not an escalator.'

Radar: 'I wish I was a glowworm, a glowworm's never glum. How can you be unhappy when the sun shines out your bum?'

Klinger: 'If you're ever in Toledo, Ohio, on the Hungarian side of town, Tony Packo's got the greatest Hungarian hot dogs.'

Hawkeye: 'I'm a horse doctor. My patients have four legs and they can't complain.'

Winchester: 'I do one thing at a time, I do it very well, and then I move on.'

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